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I’m Shocked I Tell Ya…

January 11, 2010


Mark McGuire took steroids the year he broke Hank Aaron’s home run record? Inconceivable. Sarah Palin is taking a gig with FOX News? Who woulda thunk it? Next thing I know, someone’s gonna tell me Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny are all fictional characters and that the war in Iraq really was all about oil and profits for Dick Cheney and his Haliburton colleagues.

Honestly folks, is anybody really surprised by today’s admission by Popeye McGuire? Even for casual baseball fans like myself, it was obvious that McGuire was on the juice when his forearms seemed to have doubled in size over the course of one off season. And what about Palin? Did anybody really think she wasn’t looking to cash in when she quit her day job as Alaska’s governor? Or that she’d somehow finally fall into the warm embrace of the media (and I’m using that term loosely when it comes to FOX) who she simultaneously courted and cock-teased during her run for V.P.?

The simple fact is, most people tend to act in their own self-interest. For McGuire, this meant downing the juice in pursuit of one of baseball’s most prestigious records and then coming clean in an attempt to save his “legacy” and secure a spot in Cooperstown. For Palin, a one-time wannabe ESPN sportscaster, leaving public service for a new media career is a way for her to avoid ongoing scrutiny into her so-called leadership in Alaska while, at the same time, playing up to her base on the conservative right for another run at national office.

As I’m sitting here typing this, a story that almost truly surprised me just started heating up the interwebs; Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol. I say almost surprised because some quick research showed that the show, which made Cowell a household name here in the States, is going into something like its 10th season (I’m not really a fan). Couple that with the departure of uber-foil Paula Abdul and Cowell probably thinks the show is on its last legs. And, like McGuire and Palin, Cowell is all about Cowell. He’s leaving what he surely thinks is a slowly sinking ship to try and launch a new show in 2011. He may be an asshole, but no one said Cowell is dumb.

As for McGuire and Palin? I’ve already reached my conclusion about their intellectual abilities so now I’ll sit back and see if the general public agrees. Yet again, I don’t expect to be surprised.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. January 12, 2010 12:27 am

    I think the only shocking thing is that Big Mac’s apology was so transparently connected to the Hall of Fame voting. About as subtle as an upper deck home run.

    BTW, the Truth Fairy is real. He has a biopic coming out soon.

  2. January 12, 2010 10:42 am

    Interesting collection of over-simplification bias. We all can do it in life. At the tables there is instant punishment.

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